Set In Our Ways....

       Have we become so comfortable in our space that we can't share? I ask myself that same question every day. I haven't lived with a man in over 13 yrs. Sure i've dated and they've spent the night, but they didn't move in. When i think about living with some one again i get nervous and i ask myself. Do you want to give up your closet space? Do you want to give up drawer space? I don't know, Iwould love to have someone to come home to everyday, someone to just kick it around the house with. I Met someone who I like alot and we have a lot of fun when we are together. To see him leave as soon as he is gone i start to miss him, and unlike the other men i met this year he takes the time out of his day to call just to see what i'm doing or how i'm doing. So to answer that question i don't know if i'm ready for that yet, and unless the conversation comes up we'll just continue to enjoy our new and very fun relationship. As Micheal Baisden said today on his show..... Loving someone and living with them is two different thing.....

36th birthday: A beautiful love story

       How do i start? We met at work in what used to be the coffee room, a tall dark and beautifully sexy man. The first thing i noticed was his tattoos on his arms. I love a  man with tattos, and then it was the body nice and slim, muscular for his size, and he was taller i am so that definitely was a plus. He was drinking orange tea and had asked me to try it. So i did and to this date it is my favorite tea. Well we sat down and talked for a minute before he started his shift and i was getting ready to leave. He was so easy to talk to we talked about everything including the fact that he was suppose to be engaged to this girl who had started working there with him. I don't think at that time i was interested in like that because i tried to respect his relationship with her. This girl must have really loved him because she went all out for valentines day which was sweet.
        Well i don't have to tell you what happens next. We contiued to meet in the coffee room for orange tea and you know what i was always looking forward to it. He was so easy to talk to and not bad on the eyes. I'm not sure who i was talking to at that time but i do know i was making plans for my birthday, and the decision was between two guys MT being one of them, and anyone who knew me then knew i love challenges from men. Well needless to say the other person who was suppose to spend the day with me couldn't so i called MT, and he was happy to i think i really wanted to spend the evening with him anyway. Well i picked him up the kids were gone for the night. Here we are alone in my apt. the night started out with a bubble bath for two and candles talk about romantic, this man had a body like a male model, nice chest, small waist muscles where they needed to be and hung just right (small frame men have big penis). I don't have to say what happened next it was a beautifully sexy and one of the most romantic sexual experiences i have had. This man swept me up in his arms and made love to me that was undescribable. Wow still brings a smile to my face. During all of this why was there a snow storm. We stayed in for a while eating birthday cake wrapped in his arms covered in a blanket on the couch. Hadn't felt that good in along time. We did go out in the storm to my best friends house to celebrate, from this day on we were together. He had broken up with the girlfriend moved in, like all couples we had our good days and bad, with him is where i learned that every relationship needs a date day. and we had one Sunday was our day for us, from just chillin in the bed to jazz concerts in the park to just simply taking long rides in his mothers corvet. Yes this man was the love of my life at that time until his death in 2000. I still think about him alot i have the photo album he gave me with his pictures his love letters to me and a very special hand made card. What a story i could go on because there is so much to say. It will be contiued in another story. This was a special love story that still puts a smile on my face, i can still hear him calling me sweet pea.. the one and only person who can and has called me that... tell me your story i have more........

Dating: How do you start over after 1 year of celebacy?

        I asked myself that very question at the beginning of this new year. In the past it was always easy because i just saw what i liked most of the time and i made it happen, now it just seems as though these men have stepped back in the past. I was seeing someone for all of maybe 3 weeks and that's a stretch who had the nerve to light weight call me a gold digger. Are you really serious, because he bought me a couple of notebooks for school and 2 meals. I don't think so that is why i work i make my own money.
      Anyone who knows me know that somebody else money and stuff does not impress me at all. I look at the character of a person. Right now i am seeing a young man and yes he is younger than i am, who makes me laugh, who wants to know if i made it home when i leave him. Someone who takes time out of his work day to send me a message. This man is special just kicking it around the house is cool. He makes me laugh and he enjoys doing the things i like and does not try to distract me form school. I think i'll keep this one for a while and looking forward to a fun filled summer......Tell me about your dating experience...

MUSIC.... EVERY GREAT LOVE STORY HAS A SONG

        Have you ever been in your car or just listening to a song on the radio and it instantly takes you back to the very moment you first heard it or the person you were with? Well it happens quite often, i'm ususally in my car on my way to work. And I'll hear Lionel Richie: Three times a lady, and Still. and i'm back in Germany 19 yrs old in love and pregnant. This was the man who opened my eyes to a whole new world of sex. Man when i tell you he taught me some things that we at that time only thought white people did, wrong, wrong, wrong. It's not a white thing it's a pleasing my woman thing, and he did. At that time my whole world was him but having a baby so far away from home and scared i decided to leave the army and the day before i left we all went to the club on base and they played three times a lady that he sang to me that night. It was a very emotional night because i just knew that i would never see him again. To this day despite how the relationship ended that song still brings good memories of my time in germany.
         Heatwave: Always and forever now this is a song that will live on forever, high school do those relationships ever really last? I used to think so, but now i know sometimes you just out grow each other. What i thought was going to be my happily ever after didn't last, but that's another chapter on heartache and heart break. This song has always been associated with that time of my life and someone we'll call A. Off in the service doing whatever young service men do , i'm at home waiting for him to call or write or even come home. Long distance relationships i found out the hard way does not work for me. We both did some things to destroy our relationship, we didn't know how to trust and i know i didn't because i always thought he was seeing other people although he did try to make time for me but it just wasn't enough. So after years of going back and forth both of us marrying other people raising a family, and seeing other people we tried but the distance is still the problem. And then to we are different people, i have changed so much over the past 20 plus years, and music has played a part of it. I have music for new love, old loves, break ups, make up, and inspirational get your mind and your life right music.. Need a song for this phase of my life and i thlnk i found it. Marvin Winans: YOU JUST DON'T WANNA KNOW... is now my favorite song.. check it out, and of course Mary J Blige has pulled many of us women through our drama and made us stronger......... Next time you hear a song on the radio think back to the time when you were happy maybe sad but everything you hear will probably have a memory attached to it.... This is another chapter in my life.........