LETTING GO AND MOVING ON............

Sometimes this can be the hardest thing to do. Why do we hang on to freindships and relationships that we know are toxic to our being? I know why because we're afraid of change and we're afraid of being forgotten by the other person so we put up with mess and disrespect. We as women have learn our wealth at an early age. We are so much better than the situations we put ourselves in. Yes you want to love that man but does that man really want to love you? You have to love yourself first, put your needs first and your dreams. You don't have to give up your dreams to support his, and if he does not support yours or even wants too it's time to move on. Do not give your life to a selfish man and that's what it is selfish.

When you learn to let go of the zero's in your life you will find that all kind of opportunities will open for you. It may be a new relationship or a new job, but you will never know as long as you continue to surround yourself with negative people.
People often ask me why I do the things I do and how I got to this place in my life? It wasn't an easy journey but I have to say that I learned to let go of negative people, I took several years off from being in a relationship and a year off from having sex. This showed me that Vanessa you can do this. You can live alone and you can be single and you know what my little voice was right. My last serious relationship ended in 2003, and that was the straw that broke the camels back and made me step back and look at men differently and look at what it was that I wanted from them for me. 9 years! it took 9 years to find that peace. Don't get me wrong my happiness stearted showing itself when I turned 50 and it just got better from there, Yes I missed being in a relationship and having regular sex, but when I looked at the couples around me I  said thank you god that is not me anymore.

Now as I move into the next phase of my life with all of my children doing their own thing and me staying out of their business unless I am asked. Which if anyone knows me now you really don't want to hear it, because I do speak the truth and sometimes the truth does hurt, but you learn from it. I have in the past year helped a few women come to terms with their knowing and embracing their self worth. Preaching  to them as well as my own children about having a plan "B" when plan A doesn't work.I live my life with a plan "B" and it has worked for me.

So my letting go and moving on was letting go of my hair, which I never thought I would do by cutting it and I love it. Yes people were shocked but they liked the change and what's important is that I like it and I feel good. I also had to let go of the thought that some people just don't view long term friendships the same way I do. I have always said that I only have 2 real female friends and they are my real friends I love them alot., but maybe it's different for men when they get a girlfriend They start acting funny and only call when it is convient for them but I don't change my ways toward them if you are a close friend of mine I have always made my new love aware that my best friend is a man and that he knows about him. Last year my eyes were opened to a whole side of him that I knew was there when he meets a new female but I kept overlooking and accepting, not anymore yes I love him he is my friend always will be, been friends for over 35 years.

2013 better me physical and mental building muscles for the summer and I am totally stepping out of my comfort zone and out of my box. Top of my bucket list is to do a nude spread, This is something I have been thinking about for a while and I'm going to do it.
I feel alot of love in the coming months and positive changes with positive people surrounding me.
If you have to reboot your life, change your environment, let go of old friends, family and ex's that do not bring a positive attitude to your space. It's all about you, to change your life you have to change the way you think!

                                                             Til Next Time
              In the words of my friend "this is my story and I'm sticking to it"
                                                                  V

RINGING OUT THE OLD TO MAKE ROOM FOR THE NEW......

2012 What can I say? I have no complaints nor do I have any regrets. The past year was a very productive and happy year for me. I got a chance to meet some very nice people while also finally coming to a realization about the friendship of others.

I have learned this year that I have really grown and changed as I have gotten older. The things that would have set me off so very easily in the past, I have learned to let go of. This year I got a chance to spend more time with my grandchildren. I took the summer off from school to enjoy the summer. althuogh I didn't get a chance to do much traveling I did make one trip happen. I went to meet a man that I absolutely adore. He was everything that I imagined he would be the perfect southern gentleman. My visit with him was as comfortable with him as if we actually lived in the same city. Just an easy breezy weekend.
Well here we are over a year later celebrated one year in November and it's just getting better, although we don't talk everyday because of our schedules it's nothing for either of us to send the other a thoughtful message.
2012 also afforded me the opportunity to meet someone who took a chance and drove to Cleveland to spend Thanksgiving with me and my family. My daughter told me I must be special for someone to travel on Thanksgiving to see me. My response was with a laugh I am! He fit right in with my family and we had a nice time for the 2 days he was here. I can safely say I appreciate that he took time to come see me.
 I never thought I would be okay with  a long distance relationship but it is working right now, because for me absence does make the heart grow fonder. If not for anything else I have 2 great places to visit Chicago and Maryland both are beautiful.
I guess after all these years my cousin was right about dating older men, the conversation is different and they have their own life and success, and it actually gives us something to talk about. The 2 of these guys are very different and it is those diffences that I like, although Maryland is the man that I adore, Chicago understood when I told him that I was seeing someone that lived in another state. I am looking forward to spending time with both of them in 2013, who knows what this year will bring but for me I see positive things happening and continued happiness. The new year started out great I went out for the first time in 9 years, I got a chance to dress up and look cute, and I must say I was looking great, 30 days of squats and they paid off, I got a chance to enjoy the company of a very nice young man who was very attentive.

So like I said at the top of this post 2012 has been good me and I hopt to meet more interesting people and not lose touch with anymore friends that I thought were close. Being in a relationship should not change your friendships with those who have been in your corner when no one else was.
I am wishing everyone a very HAPPY NEW YEAR and much happiness, and may the new year bring each and every one of my friends old and new the love and happiness that you all deserve.

IF LOVE FOUND ME IT WILL SURELY FIND YOU.... LEDESI.....

                                                             TIL NEXT TIME
                                                                      V