Sometimes this can be the hardest thing to do. Why do we hang on to freindships and relationships that we know are toxic to our being? I know why because we're afraid of change and we're afraid of being forgotten by the other person so we put up with mess and disrespect. We as women have learn our wealth at an early age. We are so much better than the situations we put ourselves in. Yes you want to love that man but does that man really want to love you? You have to love yourself first, put your needs first and your dreams. You don't have to give up your dreams to support his, and if he does not support yours or even wants too it's time to move on. Do not give your life to a selfish man and that's what it is selfish.
When you learn to let go of the zero's in your life you will find that all kind of opportunities will open for you. It may be a new relationship or a new job, but you will never know as long as you continue to surround yourself with negative people.
People often ask me why I do the things I do and how I got to this place in my life? It wasn't an easy journey but I have to say that I learned to let go of negative people, I took several years off from being in a relationship and a year off from having sex. This showed me that Vanessa you can do this. You can live alone and you can be single and you know what my little voice was right. My last serious relationship ended in 2003, and that was the straw that broke the camels back and made me step back and look at men differently and look at what it was that I wanted from them for me. 9 years! it took 9 years to find that peace. Don't get me wrong my happiness stearted showing itself when I turned 50 and it just got better from there, Yes I missed being in a relationship and having regular sex, but when I looked at the couples around me I said thank you god that is not me anymore.
Now as I move into the next phase of my life with all of my children doing their own thing and me staying out of their business unless I am asked. Which if anyone knows me now you really don't want to hear it, because I do speak the truth and sometimes the truth does hurt, but you learn from it. I have in the past year helped a few women come to terms with their knowing and embracing their self worth. Preaching to them as well as my own children about having a plan "B" when plan A doesn't work.I live my life with a plan "B" and it has worked for me.
So my letting go and moving on was letting go of my hair, which I never thought I would do by cutting it and I love it. Yes people were shocked but they liked the change and what's important is that I like it and I feel good. I also had to let go of the thought that some people just don't view long term friendships the same way I do. I have always said that I only have 2 real female friends and they are my real friends I love them alot., but maybe it's different for men when they get a girlfriend They start acting funny and only call when it is convient for them but I don't change my ways toward them if you are a close friend of mine I have always made my new love aware that my best friend is a man and that he knows about him. Last year my eyes were opened to a whole side of him that I knew was there when he meets a new female but I kept overlooking and accepting, not anymore yes I love him he is my friend always will be, been friends for over 35 years.
2013 better me physical and mental building muscles for the summer and I am totally stepping out of my comfort zone and out of my box. Top of my bucket list is to do a nude spread, This is something I have been thinking about for a while and I'm going to do it.
I feel alot of love in the coming months and positive changes with positive people surrounding me.
If you have to reboot your life, change your environment, let go of old friends, family and ex's that do not bring a positive attitude to your space. It's all about you, to change your life you have to change the way you think!
Til Next Time
In the words of my friend "this is my story and I'm sticking to it"
V
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